I have so much fun putting together a party and the holidays are no exception. This month I have three at the home. The latest one was for my small Scrabble Group. I planned a simple yet elegant meal including a small plate appetizer dish to have while we sipped on cocktails. I knew I was getting obsessive when I found myself digging through mounds of stamps to find a large snowflake one so that I could sprinkle snowflakes on the table.

 After trying out several color combinations I came up with a simple yet festive theme that I liked.There is something very magical about the days that lead up to Yule. All of the decorations and tiny lights seem to sparkle even more.

I enjoy treating my friends to a special evening where they can relax and enjoy, at least before we try to kill each other in a friendly game of Scrabble. I have the holiday edition which adds to the merriment of the season. A few days earlier, we hosted a dinner and movie night with much more casual food which called for a more casual look to the table. I left the Yule log in place and chose a plaid tablecloth to give things a more homey look. You just can't have a serious dinner when you are planning to watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation! It's the same setting I have planned for our Yule Eve dessert and drink party. Despite all of the work involved in putting together these small dinner parties, for me, it is what makes the holidays so much fun. I love holidays because they take us out of the ordinary days. This is also why I enjoy changing my house just enough to reflect each season of the year. It's the pagan within me that desires the connection to the earth. To be able to share those celebrations with others, whether it be just one person or a dozen, makes it all the more special.

I had a most spectacular day yesterday. I spent the day getting ready for one a holiday dinner for one of my gaming groups. As I bustled around to put the finishing touches on my holiday table and mixed up my homemade remoulade sauce for the crab cakes, I realized that I was living totally in the moment. Unfortunately, the holidays can become a time when we tend to reminisce more than usual, which can be a source of depression. We may long for the days when we were children and life seemed so carefree and full of magic as we waited for Santa to arrive, or we may feel the sadness of our childhood memories surrounding the holidays. While we can't erase the memories of the past, we can give them a moment of our time and then bring ourselves back to the present so that we can find joy from what exists at this very moment. In looking back, we can choose to remember the good memories and minimize the not so good ones. We can choose to see that the bad choices we made in the past, were what we thought were good ones at the time. While we can't change the choices we have made in the past, we can choose how we want things to be right now, and into the future, we will be able to continue to make choices. I see the present as it is, which also includes so many possibilities. I am empowered to make manyof those possibilities happen, others, I am not. When I travel I love to shop. I like to buy things that are specific to the particular place and I also like to shop for ordinary items such as clothes or jewelry. The reason being that every time I put on that pair of shoes or those earrings, I am reminded of a wonderful experience.The place I bought them is always with me until the next time I get to return. Every year at this time, I wear my long red scarf that was knit for me by my friend who told me at the time he knit it that everyone needs to have a red scarf for the holidays. I agree! When I put on my scarf, I am surrounded by good memories and hope.

On my latest trip out to Portland, I attended the Saturday Market which is always a highlight of my trip. This time I came away with a messenger bag. It wasn't a planned purchase. I saw this great looking bag that I discovered had plenty of room for my knitting project, my I-Pad and a few purse essential such as wallet, phone and lipstick. I could sling it over my body making hands free walking possible. Sold! It wasn't until I was pinning my button collection onto the one side that I realized what I had bought. Back home in Denver, I am still using it. I have too many holiday gift projects to go anywhere without a stash of knitting projects.

Fireside Books and Coffee

Unlike Portland, Denver has a wide variety of cozy coffee shops that encourage a person to hang out. I discovered a new one early in the month that I returned to tonight. The best part of this place is that it is also a used book store. This makes it a dangerous place to hang out for me but I feel it is well worth the risk. For the holidays they have put up a beautiful real tree which sits by the lovely fireplace.
With the books lining the shelves all around us, we were in cozy heaven. My friend and I decided to eschew our beloved Fancy Tiger this coming week and instead hang out and have a grilled cheese dinner at what is fast becoming another favorite spot. Since I spent the better part of the weekend getting my house ready for the holiday festivities, I plan to spend many hours sitting by my tree knitting away while I catch up on some of my favorite shows. This year we brought back our holiday village after an 8 year absence. Our cat Luna terrorized the Halloween village we used to put up, so after we got her we took a break. We decided to chance it this year and though she has already taken a stroll down main street causing a few of the citizens fall over in a faint, we think it might be OK.

Intact village, for now

I put up some new exterior illumination on the back porch. I have hanging icicles and over them a string of white and blue snowflake. The side tree is plain white lights giving my back area a frosty winter look which is good since the lights will be up all winter long. The lights strung across my wall unit in the living room are multicolor, as are the lights on the small tree that sits in the window. This year the living room  tree is flanked by extra village buildings that did not make it to the main showcase. It's a nice effect. My mantle in the family room is a woodland scene with a few elves, a few owls and a winter bird sitting in a holly garland with some pine cones as accents. Tiny lights will be added when I find them. The tree is a simple Yule tree. It has pine cones, sparkle, red balls and tons of white lights. It's unsentimental but visually pleasing. I added my Byers Choice Nutcracker Suite doll collection to my sofa table this year in order to change things up. As a kid my parents would take me into Philadelphia to see the ballet perform The Nutcracker Suite. To this day it remains one of the best performances of it I've seen.This year's yule Eve party will be desserts and holiday cocktails which is a change from the dinner we used to have. Though I like to maintain some of my traditions around the holidays, I feel it's good to change things up just a bit to keep things fresh. We are hosting two parties next week which I am already looking forward to. One is a movie night (National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation) with movie style food. The other is my small gaming group that I will host with much more elegant food since it will be a smaller group.
I like to get the holiday decorating done early so that I can enjoy it and also so I can concentrate on some of the other fun holiday things such as special meal planning, baking and making gifts. Then there are the outside activities as well, taking in the sights of Denver at the holidays and lunch and teas out with friends. All I wish is that this special time go very very slow.

Portland is a very walkable city. I find myself walking a minimum of 3 miles a day as I set out to explore and just feel this city. Today was a drizzly day, a day that is more typical of this town this time of year than the days I have been experiencing on this trip thus far.
Portland is a brooding town. The dark skies and rain make it that way.  Portland feels like a natural fit for me. Weird is the norm, black is the color, and coffee and tea stops are on every block. As I trudge along (dressed in black from head to toe with just a spot of color in my scarf), earphone plugging my ears, messenger bag strapped over my body, hand in my pockets, looking ahead into some distant place; I am in the city groove without even trying. I love that "trendy" here is vintage, reuse and recycle. Fashion "style" is whatever it is that a person is wearing. No one cares. No one is looking and evaluating. This is a city that is not about how much you make or where you work, but rather how interesting you might be to talk to, what you are reading and how much you care about your environment. Hiking and biking are huge pastimes. Art is everywhere. Local theater is affordable. Most thing here are affordable. It reminds me of Denver, with Denver getting the edge because of the near perfect weather.
As I was walking today, it started me thinking about how people are always trying to find a place to fit in whether it be a town, a religion, a group of friends, or a job. The irony is that once a person finds themselves, they realize that they fit in wherever they are without even have to try.You find your true zen when you no longer care to play the role that others expect of you and follow your own path, make your own choices and be the person you want to be, not what other people see you as. In order to do this, it helps to remove the labels that your and others place on you. Labels don't define us, they in fact, limit us. We are limitless in every sense of the word, like the stars, the drops of water in the ocean and maybe the rain in Portland.

Stumptown coffee

Samhain is the time of year when the veil between the spirit world and ours is the thinnest. This makes it a good time to communicate with the ancestors. Some people may not have a strong connection to their past family members or a desire to connect with them. However, the concept of ancestors does not have to be limited to a family tree. For some people, ancestors can be the deity they identify most closely with.  Find what works best for you and try this spread in the quiet hours of Samhain. To make this spread part of a ritual or the Samhain ritual itself, I would suggest setting up an altar with black and silver candles which can be scented with vanilla or cinnamon oil. I also like to clear the room with sage prior to any ritual. A black or silver altar cloth, clear quartz crystal and/or onyx stones, a picture of your ancestor or statue of your deity would be a nice addition as well. Animal totems could also be used. I like to use my raven statue. Raven is about rebirth, discovery, reflection and renewal. A glass of mead and a small bowl of pomegranate seeds would be good additions to the altar  since they represent the cycles of life and death. I like to set up the altar on a large table so that I  have enough room for my tarot spread to be placed  in front of me. The reason I suggest ritual is that it can help you to focus your mind and spirit on the task at hand so that you can be fully in the moment.

  Samhain Spread

Where You Are Now in the Present

 

Hopes

 

Message from the ancestors on what you need to leave behind as this year closes

 

Message from the spirit guides on what should be brought into the New Year

 

What you can expect as a result from following the guidance of the spirit guides

 

 

 

 

 

It seems as if the Kitchen Witch in me has taken over this month. I have been truly possessed with the urge to cook and bake. I've had three gatherings thus far this month and have delighted in coming up with meals for each one as well as trying out some new recipes on the husband when he is home on the weekends. I have kept the spirit of the season in mind with all of my meals. I love the food of the fall season. This month I have made pumpkin soup twice, two different styles of cornbread, chili, apple crisp, cinnamon and sugar cookies, ginger bread, applesauce cake, full moon cauliflower, and toasted raw pumpkin seeds (they make a great garnish for the pumpkin soup and for salad)

I have spent time drying the last of the herbs from the garden and as a result have a fragrant bag of my favorite Lemon Verbena leaves, catnip and mint. I can see some charm bags in the future that are full of my fresh herbs. I bought two special seasonal teas from the Republic of Tea. One is a black Pumpkin Spice tea and the other is an Apple Cider herbal tea. I have been enjoying them in the evenings and plan to serve them at my tea along with a Pomegranate Wine and a Cranberry Mead. I sprinkle cinnamon into my coffee every morning, not only for the magical essence of it but because it tastes so good too.

For Samhain itself I plan to make a pumpkin pie!

As a pagan, cooking the foods of the season puts me in touch with the season. It goes along with decorating my house, listening to seasonal music (I especially enjoy classical during the dark half of the year) crafting seasonal items, and watching seasonal movies and reading seasonal books. I also change out the tarot decks and the cloth I use, in order to both reflect the season and to refresh my practice I like to put all of my senses in touch with the spirit of each season and the Sabbats. Our homes, as reflections of ourselves, should not stay static; they should reflect the change of season in some small way. This helps keep the positive energy flowing throughout the home.  As the days get shorter and the weather turns cold, I want my home to be a warm, welcoming cozy sanctuary for myself, my family and my friends.

 

 

welcome to my table

  

Candy Corn cowl

 

This past weekend I put the finishing touches on the house decorations both inside and out. I made the trek to get some pumpkins for the front porch. As I was putting them into place, I remembered the Halloween that I first met my friend. We invited him over for dinner and in exchange for some dinner and a few beers, he carved us some awesome pumpkins to put outside. His nickname ought to be the Pumpkin King because he truly is the king of pumpkin carving . He would carve anything you wanted. I was in heaven. I asked for Jack Skellington and it was awesome. This year I found some Martha Stewart black lacy pumpkin covers, but was a bit disappointed because they are not as I pictured they would be. I put one on one of the pumpkins and will now have to look around on Pinterest for some other ideas.
The other half was the guinea pig this past weekend for my gaming night dinner next week. I wanted to test out some new recipes on him before I serve them to my friends. I made my first ever pumpkin soup and it was yummy and easy. I also made some cornbread owls to go with it from a new baking pan I found. Now all that is left is to design the table decorations and get out my pumpkin shaped soup tureen and bowls!

A touch of snow last Friday

The front yard Purple Ash

For the past two years I have been calling my circle using spirit animals. This year my studies are focused on the Shamanic Journey and spirit guides, so calling my circle has become on even more meaningful to me as I have gained more insights into the world of spirit animals. I had settled with ease on the guides for three of the directions but had a bit more difficulty finding the right guide for West, which is the direction of water. Last year I finally settled on the Seahorse because I have always like seahorses and because they embody the duality of sexuality. It's a bit of a challenge to keep from chuckling when calling seahorse into a circle of such mighty totems such as Owl, Deer and Phoenix, yet I persevere. While studying for class the other night, I came across the meaning of seahorse and had a powerful aha moment when I read what Christopher Penczak wrote about seahorse. He wrote that seahorse stands for fidelity in relationships. No wonder I chose this funny little creature! Fidelity, the quality of being faithful and loyal. Loyal, to be strongly supportive of another. These words are how I define all of my most important relationships. When I believe in someone and see the good, I embrace fidelity. Finding this definitive meaning of seahorse caused me to look at my other circle spirit animals as they relate to who I am. I was then able to see the complete picture. The spirit of the Deer was chosen to bring into my circle and my life, the qualities of patience and gentleness. The Owl, for wisdom and trust in the inner voice. The Phoenix for the quality of passion and the belief in rebirth and regeneration. The Seahorse for fidelity. This combination of energies are me. They are what I strive to embrace in their perfect form, even when I use these energies in imperfect ways.
The average person has no idea what the study of witchcraft really entails. They imagine it's all about ceremony, spell casting and wearing funny hats. The truth is that the study of witchcraft is first and foremost about the mastery of self. With self discovery, comes the power to transform one's life into something of real substance. As humans we often run away from relationships, jobs, and places out of a sense of boredom and a need for constant stimulation, all of which is in reality, a means of escaping ourselves. If we are constantly on the run, or immersing our minds in escapist literature, entertainment and such, we don't have to examine our lives. The restless soul is one that does not know itself.  Building a solid foundation within yourself, leads to building foundations with people that are right for you. New experiences enrich our lives and broaden our perspectives. These experiences teach us by taking us out of our every day habits, thus helping us to better define our likes and dislikes. I like to travel and love to revisit places I like because I can deepen the experience by learning even more about a place. When I leave again in November on my next trip, it will be my fifth trip out of state in a year. All of these trips have been two or more weeks away. By now, I look at Portland as my second home, as I do with San Diego. My real home though, is with the love I have for certain people and creatures, so no place, no matter how awesome it is, will ever satisfy me as much as true connections do. That is something I have always known about myself. I find my sense of peace in love.
My Gemini husband has roamed the world this past year (South Africa, Europe, Canada and Mexico) along with his domestic travel, which in total means he is gone at least 48 weeks out of the year. His work through the years has taken him from one client to another, each client lasting no more than two years. He likes the travel and different circumstances each client brings, yet he never becomes bored with living where we do or in the relationship he has with me.
 Everyone must be free to walk their path no matter where it takes them either physically or spiritually. My path has been a strongly spiritual one for several years now. It has taught me much not only about myself, but also about love as well. You can love in absence, bless the path they are on, and sincerely want it to bring them what they seek in life, even if you were wrong in thinking that you would continue to be part of that person's path. When my clients lament the seemingly lost relationship with their soul mates, I can offer little to console them, because when in fact you do meet up with a member of your soul tribe,whether it be in the form of friend or lover, you are supposed to be together with them. You reunite in a lifetime to complete some previous lessons and from there enjoy the fruits of that hard labor, together. Our souls don't seek or recognize another tribe member from previous reincarnations, only to do a "hit and run" encounter. If we believe in ancient stardust, we know that we have been recycled many times and therefore have many soul mates, yet in the span of this short human life, there is only so much time to reconnect and enjoy, so we are drawn to only a select few. However, when soul and ego are vastly unbalanced, problems arise and separation is inevitable. No one can predict the possibility of a reunion because the future is not written.  My only answer therefore, is to repeat what I just wrote earlier. You can love them in absence and truly bless the path that they travel and wish for them to find what they seek. Never lose your own sense of wonder and do what makes your soul jump up and down.

Since getting back from my trip this weekend, I have been involved in a whirlwind of decorating activities. Fall has arrived and my house is ready. From putting up the Fall green Man plaque in my office to washing the Halloween cloths, and tableware, I have been luxuriating in the throes of Fall. The house is ready with only the outside front porch left to do next weekend. The back porch is ready to enjoy for our beautiful fall evenings and fall rituals. The skeleton lights are glowing in the nearby bush with candy corn lights and leaves are strung across the porch. The cauldron sits ready on it's pumpkin colored mat and the side table is full of pumpkin candles and lights. I also put pumpkin lights and fall leaves in my large terracotta pots along with some gourds and pumpkins which I feel will be squirrel proof because they are made of plastic.
The mantle is festooned with ravens, leaves and apples, pumpkin candle holders, brown tea light holders, mini pumpkins soon, and some black vine garland. My dining room is dedicated to Day of the Dead with a graveyard altar and my misting cauldron, among other things. With pictures of my spirit cats, framed in a ghost and pumpkin frame, the dining room will make a natural Samhain ritual spot if I decide to not go outside for ritual.
To celebrate the season I ordered 4 new movies to add to my already sizable Halloween movie collection. I plan on spending a few nights doing nothing but watching one Halloween movie after another, with some "Charmed sprinkled in for good measure, while knitting or needle crafting something spooky. I also have plans to re-read my many Halloween books, along with three new ones I picked up on my trip. I have a crafting Halloween party coming up along with a Halloween theme game dinner and plans for an elegant seasonal dinner with a few friends. This is the time of year that I especially love having a friend over for afternoon tea or cinnamon coffee and a home baked fall goodie. Before I left on my trip, I went crazy buying some fall and Halloween inspired placemats, napkins and holders that will go well with my black dishes and give me tons of entertaining options throughout the fall. Half the fun of a house party for me is setting the stage! The other half is sharing it with special friends.

With clouds overhead and the promise of rain today, I am most aware that the promise of Fall is just around the corner. As I savor the last of summer, I await the Fall with eager anticipation. Fall is my favorite season. It's a natural for me since I was born on Mabon. I started putting Summer to rest yesterday, doing some final harvests before I pull my plants. The herbs are still doing well as are my fairy gardens. I hope to bring both of my fairy gardens inside for the winter to put in my garden room. I harvested basil and made a nice pesto to enjoy before we head out to California. so many of the leaves were damaged but I decided to dry them to use for magical purposes. I will do the same with the mint, lemon balm and lemon verbena.
Today I have decorated the mantle with leaves, ravens, owls and candle jars. I will add some tiny pumpkins when they are available. My harvest wreath and Celtic knot doormat are out on the front porch. So often in the past I have bypassed Mabon in terms of decorating, and gone straight to Samhain, which is my favorite holiday. In the past few years as my magical practice has grown, I have made it a point to do something with every holiday. as much as I have come to appreciate and be fully in the moment of each season, the dark side of the year calls to me still. Some associate the dark side of the year with isolation, cold and perhaps a touch of loneliness. I see this time of year as a season of both going inside for inner dialogue and also a season of celebration with friends as gatherings become a festive time against the cold the the outside.  Dinner parties, game nights, movie nights, Samhain parties, Yule. The dark side of the year is a great time to snuggle down and escape into a good book, knit a warm wooly sweater or scarf, sip hot chocolate or Irish coffees, bake, cook stews, chili, pot roasts & soups.

For me fall means:

Apples & apple crisp

cinnamon as a scent and in my coffee

chili

Harry potter movies

Halloween movies and witchy TV shows (this year I have "Beautiful Creatures" in my collection, next year I will have City of Bones as well)

raking leaves

pumpkins

pumpkin pie

apple pie

decorating for Samhain both inside and out

witches ball

witches tea

ravens

spicy teas served hot with honey

re reading Halloween books I have collected over the years

knitting and cross stitching spooky things

I carry the spirit of Owl, Deer and Raven with me always, but during the dark side of the year, the spirit of Raven is prominent in my thoughts. The raven as messenger and totem is a reminder that those around you are reflecting back at you the things you most have to learn about yourself.

"Know that when Raven appears that magic is imminent. Raven is about rebirth, recovery, renewal  recycling and certainly reflection and healing. He signifies moving through transitions smoothly by casting light into the darkness."

Last night, thanks to Netflix, I starting re watching a series called "Charmed". I hadn't seen it for five years and I was curious to see how I would feel about it these many years later, as I approach obtaining my 3rd degree in witchcraft. Though I only made it through 3 episodes, I can say that the show does indeed stand the test of witch time. I like the theme of witches protecting the innocent. it is in stark contrast to the fallacies put out by people ignorant of what witchcraft is. There has been criticism about the fact that the show's stars, (all attractive young women) almost always wore  very sexy outfits and therefore the show was ditsy? I for one love the fact that witches are portrayed as sexy young things  as opposed to the usual haggard old witch. It harkens back to the days of Morticia Addams and Samantha Stevens in the late 1960's portrayal of witchy people. The difference of course is that the 60's witches were sexy housewives not single gals. It fit the period. The main point is that witches come in all shapes and ages. "Charmed" put a younger person spin on witchcraft that was well researched and refreshing to see even now. However,my all time favorite portrayal of the magical life still is Jim Butcher's "Dresden Files" series. The man knows his stuff! I love Harry Dresden and share his values, his outlook on religion and such. Butcher does a good job balancing the religion thing by bringing in non pagan characters and playing them off against Dresden. As I read each book in the series, I become even more enchanted. Between Dresden and Charmed, I am in good company as I toil with creating new items for my Etsy store. Funny enough, they inspire me!

Here I am in Portland Oregon again. It's a semi cloudy day and the temperature is a cool 73 degrees. The trees are lush and full and the flowers are blooming everywhere. Yet it is not the weather that keeps drawing me back to this place. Portland is my muse, my guiding spirit. During my first visit here last November I discovered that my inner hippie had been let loose. I melded right into the free form style of this city. Portland is not a trend setter type of place which is why in part I like it so well. If this city could be defined by setting trends I suppose it would be for protecting the environment and in it's care for the homeless. There is a soul to this city that is part of a highly concentrated area of Atheists. Lesson? We don't need to be religious to have a heart and soul.
When I told people that I was heading out here for my third trip within a year, several of them asked why we didn't just move here. Simple answer. I love Denver. Like Portland, Denver is a young, liberal, affordable city. It has a vibrant downtown and beautiful mountains a scant hour away. The weather is a perfect four season climate with virtually low humidity and tons of sunny days and it is an easy place to travel out of. I feel people are missing the point when I wax romantic about my love for Portland. The point being that this is why we should travel when we can. Travel not only enriches your life by exposing you to different ways of living, it also serves as a means to appreciate where you live. It's not necessary to move from place to place in order to get the full experience of a place. People try to move away from towns in order to get a fresh start. They feel that by leaving a place, they will leave behind all of the challenges that have beset them in a particular place, without realizing that they will be taking all of those problems with them on the road to seeking nirvana. I remember from my own past history when over 30 years ago we moved up to Portland from California when the Navy ship my husband was serving on was transferred to dry dock for repairs. At that time I was suffering from a psychological condition known as agoraphobia, which is a fear of going out. I remember driving up the coast of California and Oregon and thinking how this was going to be a new start for me. I was feeling good. I was going to leave all of that mess in California and move forward. It didn't happen. Once the glow of living in a new place wore off, I was back struggling with my ailment. Once we moved back to California, six months later, I resumed my therapy and eventually moved past the agoraphobia. It wasn't the move that solved my problem, it was me who solved it. We can run from relationships, friendships, cities and even our country, but, the baggage you are running from will still follow you. Good friends, that romantic relationship, the perfect place to live, can be found wherever you live and if it's not materializing then you need to go within to find out why it's not.
 When we were younger we lived in some of the most expensive areas of the country. Though both San Diego and New York had some wonderful aspects, they also fell short in affordability. It was tiring to live in places where everything cost a fortune. The advantage that San Diego has was that the weather is perfect and the beach is free!
Through travel, whether is be within our home state, our country or overseas, we can get a better sense of what syncs up with our true selves. We can come home with new ideas, new favorite things , and list of what we want to do when we return to the road.

Yesterday I was feeling a little cranky for some reason and didn't know quite why. On Sunday evening I attended a wonderful Summer Solstice bonfire and cookout at one friend's house, and on Monday I drove up to visit with another friend and meet her new baby. I was due to go into Denver to my usual craft haunt and yet I wasn't enthused. I decided at the last minute to take in a movie and went to see "Epic" a cute kid's movie about a girl, her dad and the fairy folk who live in the woods. I came home after the movie and settled into some knitting while watching the season finale of Mad Men. It was then that things started feeling better to me. When I woke up today I felt good. When I went outside to give my plants a good watering, I noticed how lush my yard is. My pot garden veggies and herbs are growing rapidly and the bushes are full with new growth everywhere. It made me feel happy. I know now with certainty that I am a homebody. I feel content and serene when I am in my home. My creativity starts to roam everywhere. I can think of too many fun things I can be doing and start to worry that I don't have enough time left in the day. I feel this must be my Taurus moon expressing itself since Taurus is the sign of hearth and home. My double Libra sun and ascendent keeps me from being a hermit though. I like to go out and discover new places or have new experiences, I simply don't like to go out for the sake of going out to escape my home. For me, my home is my sanctuary and I am realizing that it always has been.
 It's funny how younger people seem to think that as people get older they change. I find that isn't the case. What can be the case is that you come to understand more of who you are. When I was young I did my share of drinking and dancing (even today I am strongly associated with Martinis and Whiskey) but that did not make up a whole lot of my social time. Having round robin in-home dinner and game nights with friends was more the norm. I have always been a book lover since the time I was a kid. I grew up surrounded by books in my home and today, well, I have my fair share of books to be sure. I have always liked playing different types of games. There is a closet full of board games in my home. These days the board games have mostly been replaced  by all of the online gaming I do. I have always been crafty. I used to sew a do cross stitching and would give homemade gifts to unsuspecting family and friends. I am happy to say that I turn out a much better gift then I did those many years ago thus proving that a person can learn by practice. I have always enjoyed in home entertaining. Parties done with a theme and some style are a lot of fun for me to put together. These things have always been part of who I am and always will be. Along the way I have added many new things as I have  broadened my life experiences.
When it comes to relationships, I have always been of a mind to have committed, close relationships. I have always treated my friendships as relationships because they mean a lot to me. I don't need to have a huge list of names that I call friend. I don't change friends as often as I change my underwear. I am content with just one or two that are my friend. I want to have that friend who can be with me through my life as I would be for them. I am willing to invest the time and effort it takes, realizing that it takes a lot of effort, but I know how worth it it is. My time and my feeling of pleasure is important to me. I rarely want to fritter it away on casual acquaintances if I can help it. In order of preference, I love spending time with that special friend (A spouse is obvious so that is not part of this monologue)  alone, and finally with acquaintances. I find time alone invigorating, which is good because the vast majority of my time is spent alone and has been all of these years because of my traveling husband. It has given me a wonderful opportunity for growth and independence. So, when I found that special friend several years ago, I was thrilled. I had reached what I knew was the perfect balance for me. I found someone I synced up with so well, not only because of our many common interests but also what we could learn about life from each other, maybe in part because of our age difference. I enjoyed having a male friend because I sync up better with males, probably because the vast majority of our conversational content does not include health and diet and exercise topics as it does with most women. My female friends are well educated, liberal and intelligent and YET they insist on focusing on topics that at best bore me, and at worst, cause me to come back with some snarky conversational retorts. I'm not saying that men are devoid of judgments, but my experience with them has not included diet and health topics. As for my friend, I don't know what to say or what to think. I do know that thinking can get you in a whole lot of trouble, when it comes to relationships. When it comes to relationships, it's best to let your heart lead the way.

This year's summer solstice was punctuated nicely by the beautiful super moon. I however, tend to do my summer solstice celebration during the day in order to enjoy the beauty of the beginning of the bounty of summer. As part of my celebration, I took some lavender stalks from my plant and wrapped them around my wand that happens to be made from the purple ash tree in my front yard. I also knit a ribbon for the broom that hangs by my front door while sitting outside on my porch with my cats, enjoying some freshly made iced tea brewed with lemon verbena and mint from my pot garden. I added some silk flowers to it along with a small bell in order to welcome any fairies that may be hanging out in the front yard. Finally, I set out my fairy offering of milk and honey by the light of the super moon and was more than pleased to see that it was gone the next morning. Fairies can be pranksters so it's best to have a good relationship with them. I am happy to say that I have some delightful fae companions living in my backyard. I believe that they are especially happy with their garden since the plants in it are thriving. They turned the teapot house I placed in it around to the back side to let me know they are around. Magic is indeed afoot in my backyard this summer and I intend to spend as much time outside in it as I can!

My wand and crown

the fairy garden is growing

Welcome

I love my study of witchcraft. It has been a process of self discovery and development that has slowly but surely crept up on me. I was made aware of this once again at my class yesterday when we were discussing spiritual awareness. I remember telling my spiritual friend, who at the time was going through his own spiritual studies to beware of certain people who would attach themselves to him because they saw his innate talent. He would balk every time I would point out the negative people in his life. He was surrounded by so many negative or needy people that he called friends. It seemed as if he were a magnet for them. In truth, he was. Yesterday I came to the realization that I too had my own collection of negative, needy people that I called friend and I finally figured out how this all came about for both of us.
When we come into our spiritual awakening and are in the process of developing our psychic and magical talents, we start to radiate this new energy that attracts other people. Unfortunately, this lovely energy attracts a lot of negative, needy energies: the psychic vampires. Most people are unaware that they are energy vampires so it's not that there is deliberate intention to harm. However in the psychic circles, where people are aware of energy, you might just find psychic vampires that will intentionally seek you out. I was well aware of the intentional types since I had been in the business of tarot readings for a few years, but I never thought of it beyond that circle. For the past six months at least, I have been wondering why it was that I had  drawn so many negative people into my life. Now I see that they were drawn to me and that I did not have the knowledge to understand what was happening. I have been systematically dropping or severely limiting contact that I have with these people. For my part, I did not have a good understanding of boundaries and would therefore let people come into my life and stay in my life that had no business being there. It was nothing short of a miracle that my friend and I found each other. The attraction was a good one full of fun and good energy. We synced up as friends because we are from that same spiritual tribe. We both were ambushed by these negative energies without being aware of what was going on. It took me a lot of reflection and honesty to understand. When I speak of these negative people creeping into my life, I am not implying that I was a victim, but rather an unknowing accomplice of my own unhappiness.
I was never that interested in formal training in witchcraft, and in looking at the group my friend had gotten involved with was for me, validation of my decision. There are so many strange agents in the pagan community, with egos much larger than any sense of spirituality. I was convinced that I could do my own self study. When the timing was right, I found my study group and from there I found where I am today. The small class setting with a teacher that has had many years of study and practice, along with fellow classmates that have had many years of their own path work, has been just what I needed for my own validation of the talents I have and for ones I didn't know I had.As I begin my final six months on the road to High Priestess, I am excited for what else will be revealed to me. Oh how I would love to have these conversations with my friend.

So, after 6 years on MySpace we continue here. Unfortunately I have lost all of my blogs and pictures, which is a lot of content, but I suppose that is a lesson for me. There are a lot more important things in life that one could lose than the ramblings of a crazy person. The first thing that always comes to mind are lost friendships, however today I am also thinking of all of the people who lost their homes here in Colorado. They lost every one of or most of their possessions along with a place to live and yet if they didn't lose each other, not all is lost for these families. Possessions can be replaced over time. Friendships cannot be replaced but I do feel that they can be recovered. Possibility is what life is.